"First thing I will do in heaven is go hug Moses even if it annoys him. Then I’ll listen to him tell his story from his eyes in richer detail. I got some questions I want to ask him too. Interesting questions, not conjecture arguments.
And then I’ll tell Moses my journey from atheist to believer and he was the first spark. And how I conceptualized his staff in terms of Gamma Motor Neuron function. And the parting of the Red Sea as a metaphor for the division of the brain in two hemispheres. Him the nucleus. Dry ground voltage-gated sodium channels. Israelites the cell body.
Then Jesus walking on water metaphor where water represents the epithelial tissues and membrane basement, and the act of walking on water to so perfectly calibrate top-down force and movement production that the resting membrane potential is undisturbed by the steps we take.
And in my heart of hearts I knew my Lord would receive me in grace. I did the best with what I had in hand. Now I understand and believe Jesus will return in the flesh. You will find this strange and impossible to understand as you cannot conceptualize my resonance to these words I speak. What seems to the detached observer a contradiction may be one’s truth and yearning and mind and spirit and heart. They have walked and ironed out the wrinkles you may deem contradiction.
I have found answers to every question I had but I first sat with contradictions however long it took believing the Father would help me resolve as long as I stood righteous before him. Even as atheist. Such that I made sure if the Father truly existed I would have my claim before him. That I did not rush to label contradiction and judgment. That I stood righteous in my claim against God and not men. Then I discovered the God of Jacob. In Scripture later, in Spirit first.
Our brains are bandwidth-limited. Rolling Horizons, not Ultimate. We internalize our truths not through reason but resolution. Trials and errors. Across the text I switched layers in multi-layered phase space reason did not conceive and reason does not reconcile. There is truth bigger than reason. I withhold judgement on what I do not understand. That is where God starts and I end. So God lets me understand in due season."
----
And here is my wrestling with God in form of a poem from long ago when I wasn't of faith yet:
Maybe I can help your case with my story:
"First thing I will do in heaven is go hug Moses even if it annoys him. Then I’ll listen to him tell his story from his eyes in richer detail. I got some questions I want to ask him too. Interesting questions, not conjecture arguments.
And then I’ll tell Moses my journey from atheist to believer and he was the first spark. And how I conceptualized his staff in terms of Gamma Motor Neuron function. And the parting of the Red Sea as a metaphor for the division of the brain in two hemispheres. Him the nucleus. Dry ground voltage-gated sodium channels. Israelites the cell body.
Then Jesus walking on water metaphor where water represents the epithelial tissues and membrane basement, and the act of walking on water to so perfectly calibrate top-down force and movement production that the resting membrane potential is undisturbed by the steps we take.
And in my heart of hearts I knew my Lord would receive me in grace. I did the best with what I had in hand. Now I understand and believe Jesus will return in the flesh. You will find this strange and impossible to understand as you cannot conceptualize my resonance to these words I speak. What seems to the detached observer a contradiction may be one’s truth and yearning and mind and spirit and heart. They have walked and ironed out the wrinkles you may deem contradiction.
I have found answers to every question I had but I first sat with contradictions however long it took believing the Father would help me resolve as long as I stood righteous before him. Even as atheist. Such that I made sure if the Father truly existed I would have my claim before him. That I did not rush to label contradiction and judgment. That I stood righteous in my claim against God and not men. Then I discovered the God of Jacob. In Scripture later, in Spirit first.
Our brains are bandwidth-limited. Rolling Horizons, not Ultimate. We internalize our truths not through reason but resolution. Trials and errors. Across the text I switched layers in multi-layered phase space reason did not conceive and reason does not reconcile. There is truth bigger than reason. I withhold judgement on what I do not understand. That is where God starts and I end. So God lets me understand in due season."
----
And here is my wrestling with God in form of a poem from long ago when I wasn't of faith yet:
"Frozen picture
I hear no sound
Thoughts scatter all around
Overtaken
No answer found
I've an inner world to express
So harder and harder I press
And the more I do press down
The less world I see around
The less I see, the more I show
My chaotic entangled woes.
And you care, do not address
My very obvious distress.
I'm a mess for you to comfort,
but Comfort isn't what I seek
Comfort is shelter for the weak
I'm not weak, nor insecure
I'm just desperate for the cure
The lengths I'll go, the depths I'll seek,
To free my hidden silent screams.
You just wait, I'll show you how
I'll conquer my stutter now.
Did I not? Did I just stutter?
One more day lost in the clutter
There's only so much I can take
Before I make the world quake
What else left of me to conquer
To awake from lifelong slumber?
It's not death that I mind,
It's the sadness in your eyes.
It's the mirror you put up
The reflection that makes me drop.
Hear me God, for I your son
Daily weaken in resolve,
I was told long ago
This was my riddle to solve
Were this not to come true
Were my quest bare needless hurt
I will never forgive you,
Nor ask forgiveness in return.
I will never become bitter,
I will sooner than that wither,
Drown out voice, voice kept silent
Scream the story of confinement
In the solitary island
Planes fly over every day
Keep your hands down
Do not wave
It's beneath you to behave
Victim for others to save
I'm a child with his gift taken
I refuse to be forsaken."
Thank you for sharing!
I read that first line and I was like, JE-SUS 😳😵😂
🤣🤣